Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
