While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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