It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
