You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
