I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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