my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
