I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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