My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
So much Jack, so little girl.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
