I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
