booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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