I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
