Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
