never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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