I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
