its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
