you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Someone signed my nipple.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
