i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
