I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
