Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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