I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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