i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
