what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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