He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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