You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I need a beard to bite.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
