This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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