but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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