no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
