I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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