whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
