their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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