this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
