but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Randomize
