she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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