I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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