How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
