I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
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