found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
