He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
