Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
