Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
