the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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