apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
