it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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