he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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