Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
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