can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
