Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Even my vagina gasped.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
