No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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