Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
