he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
