once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
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