P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
